Pregnancy Blues

            I am currently 38 weeks pregnant and I’m sick and tired of it! I know this may sound harsh and unacceptable to most women and probably men but this is the way I feel. Quite frankly I started feeling this way during the end of my second trimester but now it’s only getting worse.

            It’s getting more and more uncomfortable to sleep. Even sleeping on my sides is getting harder to do. I wake up at least 10 times at night thanks to my ever-full bladder. My feet are more often sore than not and they hurt. I get leg cramps and body aches. I’m always tired and can hardly breathe properly. I’m always feeling hot and stuffy. I can barely walk straight thanks to all the weight I’ve gained and the feeling of having a bowling ball in between my thighs. I sometimes find myself crying to my husband and throwing fits because of how uncomfortable I feel.

            Don’t get me wrong, I love my baby and I would go through anything for him but it’s getting harder and harder as the days go by. I know I have less than two weeks and yet I already want my baby out. I’ll be probably be judged by most people for feeling this way but I, quite frankly don’t care. Getting pregnant is so easy but staying pregnant takes a lot of strength and patience.

            I was always one of those women who couldn’t wait to get pregnant and wanted to experience having that pregnant belly. But now that I actually do, I never imagined it would be this hard. I’m not one of the lucky women out there who goes through minimal pregnancy symptoms. I must have gone through all the symptoms there are accept for maybe getting haemorrhoids or being constipated.   

            Another thing that annoys the hell out of me is when I share these feelings with people, they always tell me to be patient and take it easy. I know that’s how I’m supposed to feel but I don’t and I can’t. It is what it is. After surfing the net and finding out that I’m not the only pregnant woman who feels this way makes me feel a little better and less guilty about feeling the way I do.

            I also get this constant fear of having to go through a C-section. I am so afraid that my doctor is going to say that I’m going to need one because the baby is too big. I don’t think I could handle it if that happens as I’m deathly afraid of being cut open. Having to go the healing process is also going to be hard and will probably take a long time. I can’t have that happen to me. I refuse to.

            If I have an option of inducing labour before the baby gets too big in the next few days, that’s exactly what I’m going to do. I rather go through labour pains than being cut open. I don’t need any more scars on my body than I already do thanks to the stretch marks on my belly. My body has already gone through a whole lot of changes and it would be unfair to put my body through more stress and pain.

I think it’s time for me to hold my baby in my arms instead of carrying him around in my belly. I hope my doctor finds a way of helping me get my baby out as soon as possible unless off course the baby decides to join us sooner. I would love nothing more than to finally be able to see and hold him after all this time. Let’s all pray and hope for my sake that it happens sooner rather than later.