For You

If you’re reading this, know that this is a message from the bottom of my heart.

I never thought I would ever have to feel this way. You betrayed me.

You broke my heart and I keep asking myself what I ever did to deserve such a betrayal from you.

I was always there for you. I may not have been there for you the way you wanted me to but I was still always there. I always tried harder with you.

I respected you. Treated you as an equal and always took your problems seriously without judgment. I even gave you advice when you needed it the most.

I was always true to you. Never bitched about you. Never belittled you in front of others.

But all you ever did ever since the beginning of our “friendship” was use me for your own sick and selfish needs.

You held on to me when you were lonely, without anyone on your side and I never turned you down. And when you were done with me, you threw me away like I was garbage. You never kept in touch when you left and only came back to me when you lost your “best friend” and had problems with the rest. I still received you with open arms without question.

I was hurt many times by the things you said and all that you did but I always gave you the benefit of the doubt as I empathized with you and all that you were going through. I actually believed that you never meant them.

You even told me that you never cared for me and you didn’t like me. You called me dumb bimbo and actually believed in it and probably still do. You never accepted me for who I was.

Everything you have ever said to me was never true. What we had was fake all along. You were fake but a very good actor.

You fooled me into believing that you really cared and loved me and only wanted the best for me but all you ever did was use my weaknesses against me and humiliate me.

I told you things that were only meant for your ears. I even requested for you never to tell anyone. I even made you promised. But you just couldn’t wait to tell the first person you met about the latest gossip and you enjoyed every bit of it.

You even gave me advice that you never cared for much. You lied to my face. You made me believe you were a true friend.

I never questioned you or ever belittled you. I was always there to try to pick you up whenever you were down. I never humiliated you. I never betrayed you. I could never imagine doing it to you.

Even though all you ever told me were lies, I would still like to thank you for making me feel better when I needed a friend. I’m grateful for the lies.

I would also like to thank you for reminding me to always be careful with my heart and to always trust my instinct. That’s when the soul is telling you something. Only someone with a soul would understand the importance of trusting your instinct.

You never could empathize for me. You never even tried. All you ever did was gave excuses. You never take responsibility for the things that comes out of your mouth. You don’t even care about the damage you cause others.

Always remember, my “dear” friend, words are all we have. Always own what you say. Have some guts to look deep into yourself and accept all that you are. Be it good or bad. Only then might you be able to learn to love and care for another human being. And if you’re lucky, you might even learn how to empathize with others along the way.

I always told you, appreciate all that you have. Be grateful for the friends and family you have in your life, those who genuinely care about you. Do not assume that just because you’re a betrayer and a selfish liar, others are the same.

There are still honest and genuine people out there. Take my word for it, not everyone is like you. You were lucky to have such a person in your life.

You said you can’t empathize with me because you don’t trust me. How can that be when I have proven to you time and time again that you are never alone for as long as I’m still here. I even convinced you of the good I saw in you. I meant every word I said to you, whether you believe it or not.

What I can’t seem to phantom is why you did this to me? Is this how you treat the ones who love you and care about you?

Remember my “dear” friend, someone who cannot empathize and isn’t grateful for all they are blessed with will eventually end up losing everything. You’ll lose everyone. Your fears of being alone, isolated and deserted will surface again and you will start living your own worst nightmare. After all we are our own worst enemy.

For you own sake, from one human being to another, please get some professional help. You have a major problem.

Before you plan to embark on your new journey, you should resolve all your issues so you will never have to put them on those who love you. They don’t deserve anything more than your loyalty, honesty and empathy.

Stop being selfish for once in your life and start taking responsibility for ALL your actions. Face the consequences and never be too proud to apologize. And when I say apologize, it should be sincerely from the heart.

Also, stop trying to please everyone because while you’re so caught up on being who others want you to be, you’ll end up losing yourself, or in your case, worst still, never finding out who you ever are.

I never thought I’d ever say this to you but I really pity you. You don’t deserve friends! You don’t even know how to be one yourself!

You should never forget the guilt you feeling right now. Let it be a reminder for you never to betray, humiliate, lie and belittle anyone. No one deserves it, not even someone like you.

Anyway, I wish you the best in all that you attempt to embark upon. I hope someday you will find love and peace within yourself.  

Have a soul…