Revelation

My ever-complicating relationship with religion resurfaced only recently.

But before I get to that, allow me to say a few words about myself.

I’m Natasha Ilyas, 26+, e and I’ve lived in Kuala Lumpur my entire life.

I’m the only child, so I definitely have the “only-child-syndrome” (OCS). Its something my friends and I came up with. We all happen to be only children in our families. We’re all women who know we have a huge responsibility to fulfill.

Those with OCS tend to be friendly, outspoken, intelligent, responsible, hardworking and ambitious. Another commonality we all have is the massive attention we receive from our parents causing them to be over-protective and filled with paranoia every time we get involved in something new.

Most of our parents want us to live the life they never had. I know this sounds like a lot of us but only an only child would know the intensity and pressure we have to sometimes face. J

I attended the Bukit Bintang Girl’s School (class of 2000) and continued in Sunway, KDU then finally completed my degree in HELP University College.

I majored in psychology and mass communication. I personally believe my calling is in the field of psychology.

My first ever job was as a therapist for autistic children. It was the most fulfilling job I’ve ever had the opportunity to have. I worked with four autistic children and they all inspired me even more to go after my dream of becoming a clinical psychologist with my own practice.

My second job however, was not meant for me. I was in advertising servicing clients. I was there for a whole month and it seemed like forever. I remember crying my eyes out the last week of my employment because I couldn’t handle how rude the clients were to me. You see, I’m not cut out for that. I basically don’t take shit from no one especially if I know I don’t deserve it. I just wasn’t cut out for it.

Currently I work for the New Straits Times. I’m a cadet reporter. I used to write for the news desk but now I write for the Streets section. I’m still under probation and hope to be confirmed in the next three months.

I love to read, watch movies, documentaries, stand-up comedies and doing research. I also enjoy hanging out with friends and just babble away.

I am a Muslim who was never religious. In fact, I didn’t know much about my own religion. All I knew was that my religion forbade me from drinking alcohol, eating pork and engaging in non-marital sex, while encouraging me to fast for 30 days and that Muslim men were allowed to marry four women while Muslim women were only allowed to marry one man. I never really bothered finding out why we were forbidden or encouraged to do all these things. I just didn’t want to go there. Probably because I knew going down that road would cause change, which I wasn’t ready to make.

I learned how to pray through how-to-pray books and since I couldn’t read in Arabic, I learnt all the verses through transliterations. I prayed as often as I could or whenever I remembered to.

I wasn’t a complete hopeless, but I did engage in a lot of activities that was either forbidden or discouraged by my religion. Even though I knew that, I continued to live the way I was comfortable living, without a care in the world for anything or anyone. All I wanted to do was gratify all of my needs because that’s what I thought living life was all about.

I was encouraged to watch a documentary by a friend that completely turned my life around.

It gave me a so much to think about, not just about the way I view religion, but also about the society and the world. It made me so curious about the information I was bombarded with that I started doing my own research and finding out more things.

I knew I was onto something. Suddenly everything in life started making sense. I understood my religion and how important it was for an individual to belief in something bigger than him. That was when I knew what it meant to be a Muslim and what my responsibilities were towards my “new found faith”.

I am now a practicing Muslim. I have a newfound love for Islam.

I know many of you may think I’m just another naïve, gullible woman who has suddenly turned to religion because everything else hasn’t worked.

The truth of the matter is, I was not only naïve and gullible but I was also completely misguided about life before. And yes, I decided to turn to religion because nothing else worked for me.

I have been struggling with life all this while and all I had to do was just to have some faith in myself and in Allah, continue doing what I was doing right and everything else just fell into place.

I am a much calmer person now with a more positive outlook of life. I am passionate about everything I do and I have the confidence to achieve all I set my mind to do.

I also believe that everything that happens in my life is meant to be and that it would always turn out to be the best for me in the end.

Allah never disappoints. He just knows what’s best for you and what isn’t. The sooner people start realizing this, they will be much happier and contended with all they have.