Valentine's

I came across something quite interesting about the origins of Valentine’s Day.

First of all, this day has been attributed to different saints by the name of Valentine and with many different theories in regards to the origins of this day.

In the ancient pagan cultures of Rome and Greece, the month of February is the month of romance, fertility and spring, which goes to show that this day is not a festival celebrated by Christians.

Apparently, Valentine’s Day originated from two pagan festivals called Lupercalia and the Feast of Juno Februata. They are both celebrated on February 15^th.

Lupercalia celebrated fertility in honor of a Roman God, Lupercus. He was the embodiment of fertility, sexuality and lust. He was basically half-man and half-goat.

To officiate the festival, two naked boys, assisted by Vestal virgins would sacrifice a goat and a dog. The youths would anoint themselves with the blood of the animals and cut the goat’s skin into long strips called Februa. The boys would run around and strike any girl that came close with the Februa, which was done to bestow fertility to the girls and purify them from curses and bad luck.

The Feast of Juno Februata (The Lover’s Lottery) would be celebrated after Lupercalia in the honor of Juno Februa who was a Roman Goddess of love, marriage and women.

For the feast, the girls would write their names on slips of paper and boys would then pick them out of a container. The girl whose name is on the slip would become the boy’s partner for the “entire day”.

It was in 494 AD, that Pope Gelasius I decided to suppress pagan festivals during the reign of the Roman Emperor Constantine (288-337 AD) who accepted Christianity but continued celebrating pagan festivals.

He did that by attempting to Christianize these two festivals. He replaced Lupercalia with the Feast of Purfication of Virgin Mary celebrated on February 15^th till this very day.

He also replaced the Feast of Juno Februata with St. Valentine’s Day and moved it to February 14^th. Instead of having a lottery of girls, the lottery was now replaced with the names of Christian saints, whom the youths would pick out and emulate them for the day.

In short, Valentine’s Day originates from ancient pagan cultures and was Christianized because the people refused to stop celebrating them.

Some people object to celebrating this day as its seen as highly perverted and an insult to women. It is not only seen as a celebration of fertility and love but also encourages the fulfillment of lust, desire and sex.

While others just want to have a dedicated day where they can shower and be showered with special gifts and gestures to and by loved ones.

Whether or not people should celebrate this day is entirely up to them. I only hope that they know what this day or any other day of celebration symbolizes so they know exactly what they are doing. This also applies to everything else we do in our lives.

I’m making a public service announcement to everyone:

“Please be aware of what you do and why you do it. Educate yourselves if necessary. Life would have more meaning and make more sense this way.”

Tribulations

It’s one of the most beautiful things to experience when someone finally finds his or her way in life.

But it’s also one of the hardest things to follow through with this newfound knowledge or realization.

Transitioning from who you were into who you want to become is hard enough to do when you have people around who doesn’t want that for you.

The saying “You are your own worst enemy!” is true. Not only does it sum up the nature of human beings but it also implies how we all have it in us to go astray and live in our own hell.

I remember the day I promised myself I would not party the way I used to anymore and not consume anything that is forbidden for a Muslim. I was so happy and proud of myself that I was able to make such a huge commitment not only to myself but also to Islam.

When I decided to share the great news with some of my friends, I was very surprised with the reactions and comments I received.

Some were genuinely happy for me and thought that if this sudden change is going to be good for me then I should do it without hesitation. I had their support.

Others were surprised and didn’t think I could ever live up to it.

As for the rest of them, not only did they mock me, they actually thought I was wasting my time doing it for the sake of religion. They thought it was pointless.

Someone even told me: “Religion is a trap! Don’t fall into it. You’re better off without it!”

It seemed to me that none of them knew much about their own religion. Forget other world religions!

At first I was angry because I expected some support as for once in my life I was doing something good for myself. But then it dawned upon me that the reason why they cannot fathom the idea that someone has found solace in religion is because they don’t really understand religion or the importance of it.

Not only that, I also believe they are afraid to look for answers as they are afraid of what they might find out. And I can be almost 100% certain that they wont like it because it wont fit with their lifestyles.

I have disregarded all that I’ve been told and I’m currently focusing on improving myself.

My social life isn’t like it used to be before. These days I avoid going to clubs. I prefer little gatherings among close friends, something more intimate and comfortable.

Maybe it’s me getting older or maybe I just feel it’s pointless for me to spend my entire weekend clubbing. What good is it going to do for me? I’d rather spend it at home with my loved ones or on something more productive than “clubbing”.

It's hard enough having to deal with your own demons, and then you find out that some of your friends think you're crazy for wanting to lead a healthier lifestyle.

Apparently the way I want to live is not normal in this time of age. Someone who doesn't party and doesn't drink is known to be boring. Most people don't want to hang out with people like me.

The truth is, I'm still the same Natasha I was before minus these other insignificant things. But that isn’t good enough. For some I am already the person they would think twice to invite to a party or a gathering because to them I'm not fun to be with anymore as I wouldn’t be able to enjoy the “high”.

Its really sad to know that in today's world socializing means having to go to clubs, bars or joints where there is plenty of alcohol to go around. A party without servings of alcohol is labeled as a party for "losers" who don't know how to enjoy themselves.

Why does someone have to succumb to this kind of peer pressure just to feel like they belong?

I'm very happy to say that I have never had to succumb to peer pressure as all I did before what exactly what I wanted to do. I take complete responsibility for all my actions.

But think about those who are vulnerable to peer pressure? The ones who truly believes that the only way they can get to be cool and feel wanted is by doing things that others do that may not be beneficial to them.

What kind of world do we live in? Everything is opposite!

These days, you will never get the support you need if you wanted to change your life for the better and turn to religion for guidance. Instead you get mocked for being naïve and stupid.

But if you're doing things that could eventually lead you to trouble, everyone suddenly seems supportive. Everyone starts thinking that you're cool and wild and they want to be just like you. Carefree. Some even envy you for it!

Why can't people envy those who are on the right path? Why can't that be motivation or inspiration for others to gain from?

I am really puzzled by our fellow earthlings. Everything that was deemed good and moral is now considered stupid or pointless. While everything that was considered bad and immoral is now acceptable and even commendable.

I don’t want to sound like a prude and I’m definitely not one for my track record speaks for itself. But what has our world come to? What are we really doing with our lives? Do we really know who we are and where we’re heading?

Think about it!

Revelation

My ever-complicating relationship with religion resurfaced only recently.

But before I get to that, allow me to say a few words about myself.

I’m Natasha Ilyas, 26+, e and I’ve lived in Kuala Lumpur my entire life.

I’m the only child, so I definitely have the “only-child-syndrome” (OCS). Its something my friends and I came up with. We all happen to be only children in our families. We’re all women who know we have a huge responsibility to fulfill.

Those with OCS tend to be friendly, outspoken, intelligent, responsible, hardworking and ambitious. Another commonality we all have is the massive attention we receive from our parents causing them to be over-protective and filled with paranoia every time we get involved in something new.

Most of our parents want us to live the life they never had. I know this sounds like a lot of us but only an only child would know the intensity and pressure we have to sometimes face. J

I attended the Bukit Bintang Girl’s School (class of 2000) and continued in Sunway, KDU then finally completed my degree in HELP University College.

I majored in psychology and mass communication. I personally believe my calling is in the field of psychology.

My first ever job was as a therapist for autistic children. It was the most fulfilling job I’ve ever had the opportunity to have. I worked with four autistic children and they all inspired me even more to go after my dream of becoming a clinical psychologist with my own practice.

My second job however, was not meant for me. I was in advertising servicing clients. I was there for a whole month and it seemed like forever. I remember crying my eyes out the last week of my employment because I couldn’t handle how rude the clients were to me. You see, I’m not cut out for that. I basically don’t take shit from no one especially if I know I don’t deserve it. I just wasn’t cut out for it.

Currently I work for the New Straits Times. I’m a cadet reporter. I used to write for the news desk but now I write for the Streets section. I’m still under probation and hope to be confirmed in the next three months.

I love to read, watch movies, documentaries, stand-up comedies and doing research. I also enjoy hanging out with friends and just babble away.

I am a Muslim who was never religious. In fact, I didn’t know much about my own religion. All I knew was that my religion forbade me from drinking alcohol, eating pork and engaging in non-marital sex, while encouraging me to fast for 30 days and that Muslim men were allowed to marry four women while Muslim women were only allowed to marry one man. I never really bothered finding out why we were forbidden or encouraged to do all these things. I just didn’t want to go there. Probably because I knew going down that road would cause change, which I wasn’t ready to make.

I learned how to pray through how-to-pray books and since I couldn’t read in Arabic, I learnt all the verses through transliterations. I prayed as often as I could or whenever I remembered to.

I wasn’t a complete hopeless, but I did engage in a lot of activities that was either forbidden or discouraged by my religion. Even though I knew that, I continued to live the way I was comfortable living, without a care in the world for anything or anyone. All I wanted to do was gratify all of my needs because that’s what I thought living life was all about.

I was encouraged to watch a documentary by a friend that completely turned my life around.

It gave me a so much to think about, not just about the way I view religion, but also about the society and the world. It made me so curious about the information I was bombarded with that I started doing my own research and finding out more things.

I knew I was onto something. Suddenly everything in life started making sense. I understood my religion and how important it was for an individual to belief in something bigger than him. That was when I knew what it meant to be a Muslim and what my responsibilities were towards my “new found faith”.

I am now a practicing Muslim. I have a newfound love for Islam.

I know many of you may think I’m just another naïve, gullible woman who has suddenly turned to religion because everything else hasn’t worked.

The truth of the matter is, I was not only naïve and gullible but I was also completely misguided about life before. And yes, I decided to turn to religion because nothing else worked for me.

I have been struggling with life all this while and all I had to do was just to have some faith in myself and in Allah, continue doing what I was doing right and everything else just fell into place.

I am a much calmer person now with a more positive outlook of life. I am passionate about everything I do and I have the confidence to achieve all I set my mind to do.

I also believe that everything that happens in my life is meant to be and that it would always turn out to be the best for me in the end.

Allah never disappoints. He just knows what’s best for you and what isn’t. The sooner people start realizing this, they will be much happier and contended with all they have.